How I Wrote the Book Description for Battlefield Earth [Case Study]

A while back, I got an email from Galaxy Press asking if I could help them with the marketing of one of their most famous books, Battlefield Earth.

Now, if you don’t know me well, I’m a HUGE sci-fi nerd and Battlefield Earth is one of my all-time favorite books. (The movie… not so much.)

So yeah… I was geeking out a little.

And wow, this turned out to be one of the most fun book marketing exercises I’ve ever done.

Right after accepting the project, I looked at their Amazon Marketing Services (AMS) data. What I saw was that they were doing a great job getting the book in front of the right audience (just like I teach in my free AMS course).

But they weren’t getting enough people to click that buy button. Conversion rates were low.

When that happens, 99% of the time, the book description is the problem.

And in this case, it definitely was. Their original description read more like a book report. It had no curiosity, no tension, no real reason to keep reading.

So I rolled up my sleeves, rewrote the whole thing, and tracked everything I did.

The result? We 3x’d the conversion rate – all from a few key changes to the description.

In this article, I’ll walk you through exactly what I changed, what I got wrong, and how it all came together.

How to Prepare for Your Book Description

When we are writing our book descriptions, we can’t just dive right in.

Instead, there are a couple of things we can do that will really help get those descriptive juices going.

1. Review Some Top Resources

Before I start digging into book description writing, it’s best to get back to the basics and remember what exactly a good book description needs.

And, I’ll be the first to tell you I haven’t memorized everything. So, I broke out some of my favorite resources on book descriptions:

A) Bryan Cohen’s book How to Write a Sizzling Synopsis

This is definitely my go-to source every time I write my descriptions.

B) Podcast Episode on Constructing a Book Description

My interview with Bryan Cohen on the Book Marketing Show podcast.

C) Kindlepreneur’s Post on Back Book Cover Blurbs

I especially love the fiction book description formula describes by Kelly Exeter in the article, so I went to work applying it.

2. Gather Data on the Book and What the Fans Think

After refreshing what goes into a good book description, it’s time to gather useful data and building blocks to create a description that turns shoppers into buyers.

Since I read the book back when I was 12, I knew what the book was about.

However, I needed more than just my own memory.

The best strategy for writing a description that makes people buy is not only knowing the book, but also finding out what people say was their favorite part of the book, and expanding on that.

In my example, I looked at the following:

• Reviews from All Markets: This included Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo and iTunes. The best part about this is that after reading a couple of cherry reviews, you’ll start to see patterns and themes. This is SUPER valuable information for a compelling description.
• Blog Reviews of the Book: There are professional reviewers who do amazing jobs of describing these books. So, why reinvent the wheel? Check out what they say and write down anything that catches your attention.

Getting to work on a book I've loved since I was a kid! #NerdPoints #BookMarketingClick To Tweet

Learn Market Data and the Words People Use

One of the best ways to convince a shopper that this is the book they’re looking for is to use the same words they would use to describe it.

For example, if someone searches Amazon for “swashbuckling adventure,” and your book description says “this swashbuckling adventure…,” you’ve just confirmed for them that they’re in the right place. That’s a powerful moment.

This is why knowing how readers talk about books like yours is so important.

With Publisher Rocket – a tool I built myself – I was able to research exactly what keywords people are typing into Amazon. I can also see how many people are searching for those terms and how much money the books are earning. Here are just a few terms worth targeting for Battlefield Earth:

• Apocalypse Book
• Earth Destroyed
• Alien Attacks Earth
• Homeworld

Using this kind of data can do two things for you:

1. It helps you write a more compelling, relevant book description
2. It gives your book a better chance of showing up in Amazon searches

That second part is key.

Amazon’s old A9 algorithm (back when they still published details) made it clear that the words in your description influence where your book appears.

So doing this kind of research isn’t just smart, it’s necessary if you want to sell more books.

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Battlefield Earth’s Book Descriptions Broken Down

Once I had a plan for creating an excellent book description, and an idea of what others were saying about the book, it was time to start writing.

Here’s the original book description:

Looking at the original, I felt it did the following:

1. It gave away too much information and lavished in details. This is a sales page book description, not a book report.
2. This description makes it sound like the book is more about Jonnie and Terl fighting against each other. As a reader, however, I know it’s about more. There is much more at stake, and the focus on and description of Terl is a little too drawn out.
3. The sentences ran on and weren’t engaging enough.

So, I took these observations and my notes from other sites to create an updated book description.

Here's the new book description:

So, what did I do? 

1. I shortened the first sentence because it was too detailed and drew on. However, it was important to let the shopper know this is a post-apocalyptic book.
2. Gave away less details so as to not mire the description. Much to the chagrin of fans I'm sure, I removed the mention of the main antagonist, Terl, and instead made it about the alien race. But remember, this is not for fans… this is for potential customers
3. Ended the description with a heavier statement that impresses upon the reader the importance of this single battlefield. This isn't just about mankind versus the Psychlos… it's about more and you need to purchase and read this to find out.

Now the million-dollar question:

Did I really write a better book description?

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How I Used PickFu to Test My Theory

As you guys know, I don’t like to make decisions by guessing.

That’s why I used PickFu to get real feedback.

PickFu is a service that will conduct surveys to help you test just about anything, such as your book covers, book descriptions, and even website designs.

In this case, I tested the two book descriptions in front of 100 people who were between the ages of 24-36 and are listed as avid fiction readers.

And the results proved my theory…

My description was better received:

67% of people who took the survey chose mine, and you can see their comments and demographic breakdown here.

But here is where I made a mistake…

When I created the survey question, I wrote:

Which book description do you like better for the book “Battlefield Earth”?

And as you can see from some of the comments, people took the survey reading into that question and chose the description they thought best described the book.

Like these:

• “It's a more detailed synopsis”
• “It gives a more detailed account of the book”
• “It includes more of what the book is about”

A better question for this test would have been:

Which book blurb would make you want to buy the book if you read it on an Amazon book sales page?

This way, the question wasn't about which better described the book; instead, the question would be about which description would make you want to buy and read the book.

I have a feeling if I had phrased my question better, I would have had even better results.

Find out how I won an Epic Sci-Fi Book Description Battle #SciFiChatClick To Tweet

One Final Step

After you are sure you have a better book description, it’s time to make the description looks good on Amazon.

Placing the book description into Amazon, I made sure to highlight the best features, accolades, and other pertinent information by using my Amazon Book Description Generator.

Check out the final product.

Now doesn’t that look nice?

Well, at least it’s better than just a large block of text.

(Of course, in the years since, Galaxy Press switched to a different book description for Battlefield Earth on Amazon. Oh well. It had a great run.)

The Results from a Change of the Description

There are three major things that came from this change in the book description:

1. The book converted 3x better. That means 3x more people who came to the book's sales page on Amazon choose to buy the book. That's an INSANE difference by itself.
2. They loved the book description so much that, in the next edition of the print book, they used mine on the back book cover.
3. The last sentence is now used as a slogan for the book: “The Fate of the Galaxy Lies on Battlefield Earth” with the words Battlefield Earth being the title.

That's some serious improvements and nerd points scored. So, you need to ask yourself:

Is my book description holding my book sales back? 

Am I missing out on the perfect customer because after all my marketing efforts, they come to my sales page and aren't convinced that this IS the book for them? 

If so, then perform what I just did and find the right description for your book.

Nerd Points Scored!

And that's how I wrote the book description for a super famous book (that I happen to love).

This uber nerd got to work on one of his favorite books AND help it sell better. Pretty awesome.

So, before you look to improve your book description or someone else’s, make sure to:

• Review pertinent book description resources and plan
• Collect data on the book
• Write the book description
• Test it with your target demographic
• Spruce it up with a little HTML

Cheers!